BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY Read online

  It had only been 6pm local time but back home it would have been 11pm and she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. When she woke it was 2am. Damn there wasn’t much she could do at that time but she was ravenously hungry. Obviously catching up on sleep had also awakened her appetite. A review of the room service – thank goodness it was 24hr and she ordered a sandwich and a drink. She turned on her phone and it bleeped steadily for a few moments announcing the messages that she had. The replies could wait until later for everyone as she didn’t want to wake them too. She checked her emails on the ipad – deleted the majority of them as nonsense and checked her online bank account. All tasks that she had little motivation to do at home unless it was absolutely necessary. But at 2am she had time to waste.

  “What the!”

  The balance available must be a mistake. She didn’t have that much money. It must be wrong. There was over £700K in her accounts. Now she knew why the bank continued to call her to discuss her ‘arrangements’. Clicking on the back button she reviewed previous entries on the statement. But it was correct. An accumulation of their savings, her wages, pension, insurance payments and no mortgage payments. Her Dad had tried to talk to her several times about her finances but she hadn’t taken it in. It was another one of those ‘things’ that could wait until she was ready. The bank statements at home, unopened in a pile of mail. But she couldn’t think about that now. It was wrong. Rob had always been very methodical when it came to paying the bills and booking holidays, trips or events. She hadn’t been hopeless but left most of it to him. When she returned she would have to go through the file that HR had left all those months ago. At the time she had been in her bubble of grief and didn’t want to think of the ‘benefits’ that she had inherited. But it was now time to take responsibility for herself.

  A knock on the door and she checked the spyhole before opening that it was room service. The tray was carefully placed on a side table and she tipped the waiter as he left. The thought of food now making her feel nauseous but she knew she had to have something as her stomach growled loudly.

  “Okay, time to eat!”

  She turned the TV on to break the silence in the room. Flicked through the 100’s of channels available. When she returned to her ipad the internet session with the bank had timeout and she logged off.

  “Oh bugger!”

  She must have dozed off after eating her snack, the TV still on in the background. Disoriented she checked what time it was, a little after nine am. She placed the remains of her tray of food outside the door to be collected by the housekeeping staff and headed for a shower. An hour later she was refreshed from her shower, ordered more room service for breakfast and re-packed her belongings. It was time to leave.

  Time to see if she had made the right decision in coming to Portland.

  Time to see if there was any truth in the lighthouse book.

  Time to see if her instincts were right.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The sun was shining brightly when she drove out of the car rental hire; put her sunglasses on to protect from the glare. A full tank of petrol and she was all set. Carrie was a confident driver but was glad to have the guidance of the satnav to direct her to Cape Elizabeth and the guest house. As informed it didn’t take her long to find route 77 and her base for the next week or so. The guest house was beautiful on the outside. A large Victorian former sea captains home. She remembered from the website. A wraparound porch with tables and chairs it even had the obligatory porch swing. The wood of the build gleaming white against the green of the garden. Its elevated position granting views of the ocean. Hanging baskets of flowers adding a splash of colour against the stark white of the building. One of the guest rooms even had a little widows walk enclosed balcony. Carrie romanticised imagining a wife or lover waiting the return of their loved one from that balcony. Was it the Captains room?

  She parked the car in the guest spaces and took her little case from the boot. Before she reached the door it was opened.

  “Welcome to the Captains Rest Inn”

  “Hi, I’m Carrie Reynolds-Davies, I have a reservation”

  “Hello Carrie, nice to meet you. I’m Terri, the owner of The Captains Rest; now let’s get you checked in.”

  Carrie confirmed the details of her reservation for five nights.

  “I will show you to your room. You are in room ten on the second floor. Do you need help with your bag?” She asked as they walked towards the impressive staircase across the oak parquet flooring.

  “No I can manage, thanks”

  Carrie could only nod and interject the odd word as Terri pointed out names from the portraits on the stairwell. At the top of the stairwell the landing split into two, leaving the stairwell open. They walked right and up a further stairwell stopping at room 10. When they opened the door she saw that she had been given the room she had nicknamed ‘Captains Room’ just moments before.

  The room was sumptuous. A large mahogany four posted bed, draped in a deep red velvet and gold fabric. The same fabric accented on the throws and pillows adoring the room. A seating area leading to double doors that opened onto the balcony. Complete with telescope. A large fireplace with a high mantel dominated one side of the room. Carrie was enchanted.

  “It’s beautiful Terri”

  “Thank you. The fireplace is gas powered; let me show you how to work it if you need it. The nights can get chilly here.”

  “If you need anything, anything at all, just ask. We serve refreshments every day in our front parlour from three pm, all guests are welcome to join in”

  “Thanks. I would like that”

  Carrie closed the door on the friendly retreating face of Terri. Terri looked young to be an innkeeper mid-forties in age she guessed, short golden blonde hair that was layered around her face. She had kind eyes Carrie thought. For the last sixteen months she had maintained a defensive barricade around people. Back home everyone knew her as that ‘poor young woman’, ‘widowed so young’. It would be a relief to be away from people whose compassion and pity at times paralyzed her. Well-meaning intentions, kind words and bluntness had all been tried on Carrie to release her from her self-imposed cocoon of grief.

  Her Gran, Nana Reynolds on her Dad’s side of the family had told her to ‘pull herself together’ said at eighty six she herself had been through a World War, had a young family and survived all of that. If she could achieve that, then Carrie could learn to live again without Rob. Carrie had visited her a few weeks ago at the nursing home that she now reluctantly had to stay in. A fall a few years ago at home had resulted in the need for assisted living in a residential home. Nana had refused all of the requests from her children to live with them in any of their homes. Even her parents who had more than enough room to make a ‘Granny Flat’ were refused. She didn’t want any fussing from the family and refuted all requests. Carrie loved her cantankerous granny for her words of wisdom, sometimes delivered with acerbic wit but Ella Reynolds was a straight talker, always had been, and always would. Carries Father Dan was the youngest of Ella’s children and the apple of her eye. The last of eight children, five girls and three boys in total. Family gatherings on the Reynolds side were always raucous with all the Aunts and Uncles and their extended families. By contrast on her Mother’s side it was just Kate and Belle; no other brothers or sisters. She remembered her Mother telling her years ago she was overwhelmed at first when she met her future husband’s family. Struggled to remember everyone’s name and who was married to whom or who was single.

  “Now what have you been doing to yourself girl? You are fading away to a shadow in front of us”

  “I’m fine Nana. I just haven’t had much of an appetite, that’s all.”

  Her Nana sat forward against the high back chair of the sitting room in the day room of the nursing home. The silver of her hair in perfect curls, not one out of place.

  “Pass me some of those biscuits you brought with you. I know you’ve still got a sweet toot
h! We can start to get some meat on your bones again.”

  Carrie opened box of biscuits as requested, sipped her tea and chatted in general. At her next visit the weather should be better and Carrie suggested they go out for the day.

  “Oh yes, that would be nice. I’d enjoy that. We could go to the park you and Rob used to take to me to with the lovely garden centre.”

  Carrie gave a sad smile.

  “Yes with the walled garden. It will be nice in the summer. Rob liked our walks there”

  “Oh my wee pet, Oh Carrie. It’s time to let go of your grieving. I was fifty two when I lost my Dan. Left on my own with the children, although most were up and gone by then. Just when your Mum and Dad were starting out together too. But your Mum .. oh she wouldn’t say boo to a goose when I first met her; oh that soon changed! I think she wears the trousers in that house and with the family. Ha! I never loved another man Carrie, but I kept looking. They just didn’t meet my high standards” she joked.

  “Nana, I don’t want anyone else, I just want the pain to go away”

  “It does pet, just takes a while… But it does. Now pass me another choccie biccie.”

  Carrie picked up her suitcase and rested it on the luggage rack to prepare to unpack. The large Victorian wardrobe had plenty of hangers and two large fluffy robes hanging. A basket lining the bottom of the wardrobe containing slippers and all sort of essentials to help you out if you left home without them. The bathroom was also sumptuous. Despite the Victorian splendour of the bedroom the bathroom was luxurious with the modern fittings. A glassed double shower with waterfall showerhead. The bath a whirlpool Jacuzzi complete with a shelf which contained an empty champagne bucket.

  Why had she not gone budget? She must have picked the most romantic inn to stay in. No make that romantic place in the world! Four poster bed – tick, roaring fire – tick, double shower – tick, Jacuzzi – tick! Not what she expected when she made the booking. She had been drawn to the history of the building and the surroundings.

  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh”

  Her toiletries looked lonely as she stacked her toothbrush in the glass. She spaced her moisturiser and cleanser further apart as if that would take up more space, then shuffled them back together. She had finished unpacking and spent some time familiarising herself with the room. The double doors to the balcony opened with ease and Carrie stood taking in the view down to the sea. It was a little after 1pm. Carrie had requested an earlier check in and this had been agreed with the inn. She was paying a little extra but at least she was settled in. Finally she took ‘Rob’ out of her bag and positioned him on the bedside chest of drawers.

  “There Rob, what do you think?”

  Time for some fresh air, a walk around the town or bay. Time enough tomorrow or Monday to go to the lighthouse.

  She sent a text to her Mum and sister. Letting them know she was safe and sound. Told them the inn was lovely and her plans to go for a walk. A couple of replies later and she picked up her small shoulder bag ready to explore. A glance in the mirror and her hair needed a quick brush, she left it down and added a little lip gloss. Her only concession to make up today.

  Terri was at the reception desk when she went down stairs and full of tips for where to go during her stay. She had some leaflets for places of interest and recommendations for dinner. More information than she could take in but Terri assured her that she didn’t need to take the car as everything was within walking distance.

  “A left, then a left again, down the small hill and she will be at the bay. You can’t go wrong. If the sea isn’t on your right or left hand side then you have!”

  The ringing of the telephone gave Carrie the opportunity to leave without appearing rude.

  “Thanks Terri” with a wave she was gone.

  Within ten minutes she was at the bay passing several guest houses or private houses. It was difficult to tell. All impressive. She strolled from store to store. Stopped at a starbucks. Woo hoo and fed her caffeine intake for the day. As a child she had loved the seaside and when she walked along the wooden boards for the pier it reminded her of childhood trips to Blackpool. She could see the working lobster boats bobbing in the water.

  The sea rushing beneath the boardwalk, sea gulls squawking. There was a hustle about the Cape and Carrie felt a feeling of familiarity. Maybe she should have been a mermaid. She loved being next to the sea. The coffee finished she found a suitable rubbish bin to dispose of the cup. There were boards offering day trips for tourists to go fishing or tour the lighthouses. But that’s were her land-legs won. She didn’t want to go on a boat on her own. One thing that she hadn’t planned for most of the shops was closed on a Monday. She would have to check if the lighthouses also closed or where open all year round.

  She could hear a beep noise, checking her bag it was her phone. The caller display with Belles number.

  “Carrie! Oh my God what are you doing over here??”

  Before Carrie could reply her Aunt launched into a tirade of questions a trait she shared with Carries Mum.

  “Hello Belle.”

  Belle was in Los Angeles and would be there for at least a week.

  “Oh if you only told me Carrie, I could have tried to reschedule some of my meetings.”

  “Belle, I will be fine. When did Mum call you?”

  Yes, her Mother had called Belle to tell her of Carries wild goose chase trip.

  “It’s just something I have to do for me Belle. I have to get a bit of the ‘old’ me back.”

  They spoke for a few more minutes and Carrie promised to let Belle know if she was staying any longer than her provisional week. They would try and meet up if she extended her stay.

  Whilst she had been speaking to Belle she had passed some shops and restaurants but as she was putting her phone back in her bag she had stopped in front of a little boutique store. Carrie wandered around and soon added items to her basket; soya candles that smelled of French lavender and black pepper, jars of bath salts with exotic scents and a lip butter that proclaimed to make your lips more kissable. Hmm she hadn’t thought that one through but the packaging dared you to try or your money back! Well she wouldn’t have any need to be kissable but she had neglected her usual beauty regime for so long. It was time for a little repair work.

  A few dollars lighter she headed back to the inn.

  The little parlour off from the main reception area was set up with tea, coffee and even hot chocolate for guests. A tray with cookies and if a glass of milk was required, just ask the staff.

  Carrie took her bags up to the room but returned to the parlour to have some hot chocolate and maybe a cookie or two. The sweet tooth she always said she inherited from her father. She brought a book that she had started to read but previously couldn’t get passed the first chapter, poured some of the hot chocolate and nibbled on a cookie. She was unaware of Terri watching her from the doorway. Taking in her solitary air and the sadness that infiltrated her eyes. Something had happened to this girl. Why else was she on the ‘other side’ of the world on her own?

  Chapter two and the plot line drew her in and soon Carrie was half-way through the book. She hadn’t felt this relaxed in months well not enough to read a book.

  “Mrs Reynolds-Davies?”

  Carrie looked up from the book. She had been reading for over an hour.

  “Please call me Carrie”

  “Did you make any arrangements to eat out this evening whilst you were out? Some of the restaurants here can deliver. I can recommend some for you if you like?”

  “No I haven’t made any plans, do you have any menus to look at?”

  Terri returned with the guest information pack.

  “Thanks, I will have a look later”

  Carrie closed the book. Glad that she had persevered and finished reading it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had completed a book. It was dark outside now and no other residents occupied the parlour. She stretched and picked up her things to return to her room. One
of the staff passed her in the corridor and she gave a smile in recognition. Carrie had looked through the guest booklet and picked an Italian restaurant to order a delivery from. She would call them to order some pasta but first time to call home. It would be Sunday lunchtime back home. Claire and Ryan would be visiting around now. She made a coffee and settled on the sofa facing the fireplace in her room. The phone was answered on the 2nd ring. Her Dad’s voice reassuring and although she had only been away a couple of days she felt a pang of homesickness.

  “Hi Dad”

  “Carrie, how are you?”

  They spoke for a few minutes. Carrie describing the Inn and the surrounding area.

  “It’s very pretty”

  “That’s good. Your Mum wants a word before you go”

  “’Bye Daddy” she heard the sound of the handset changing.

  “Hello Mum” She explained again how lovely and the Cape was. “I went walking earlier, grabbed a coffee,”

  “When are you going to lighthouse so that you can complete your wild goose chase and come home?” Her Mum interrupted.

  “Well most things close on a Monday; I will go Tuesday I guess”

  “Oh Carrie, shouldn’t you have checked this before you flew half way across the world?”

  “Mum, I’m fine, I’m relaxing. I even read a book today!”

  “But Carrie”

  “I’m going now Mum, will call again in a few days. ‘Bye”

  Yes, it was rude.

  Yes, she should have waited until her Mum said goodbye.

  Yes, she should even has spoken with Claire

  Behaving like a brat wasn’t common to Carrie but she felt defensive, again, over her decision to travel after all the support her family had given her.

  Her appetite decreasing the last thing she felt like doing was eating but she called the number of a local Italian and ordered some spaghetti vongole. The reception desk called her to advise her delivery had arrived 30 minutes later. She paid and tipped generously.